The Beginning…

The bad news:

So here I am again, deadlocked in a battle with my own mind and body to overcome my most difficult challenge in life, my weight. I know a lot of you may remember that I’ve been here before, approximately two years ago, and the only thing I can say is that my last attempts didn’t fail, but it was the long-term commitment that did. I friend of mine jokingly said it best a few days ago:

“My life needs more rules.”

Well, she’s not the only one. I lost 60 pounds in 94 days the last time around and I gained it all back and them some. Just over a month ago, even after eating right for a few days, I weighed in at 308 pounds. I’ve never been a skinny guy, not since I was a young child, but that was the most I’ve ever weighed, and it scares me. What should have happened two years ago was: when I noticed a few extra pounds, I should have got right back on the treadmill and burned them off. So this time around, I’m gonna need to commit to those longer-term rules.

A lot of people have asked me, why now? Why didn’t you start months, if not years ago? How did you let it get that bad? The only answer I could offer them was laziness and comfort. I’ve always been an extrovert, I’ve always had a dependence on the approval of others, and once I lost a bunch of weight 2 years ago, I found myself in a great relationship. Dating was fun, hanging out was awesome, going out to dinner, partying with friends, there was always something to do… I really got very comfortable very quickly and it made me lazy. Then, slowly but surely, the pounds started creeping up.

I found some of my blog posts, measurements and weigh-ins from the end of that last attempt, and I had made it all the way down to 208. So, over the course of two years, I gained 100 pounds.

What’s different?

1) I’m single again.
2) I know my weight gain is one of the reasons why.
3) I hate failure.
4) I’m only getting older.
5) I legitimately miss that energetic zest for life and feeling of accomplishment I got from having people notice the weight-loss and being able to tell people my story.

The good news:

I’m well on my way!! I’ve been eating right, and I’ve started working out again… and since August 20th, as of this morning I’ve lost 19.7 pounds and due to some medical BS (more on that later) and some stitches that resulted I was only able to start working out about a week ago. Currently, I can’t do much more than walk, but I’m building up and getting better every day!Here’s what it looks like so far:

9-16-2014 8-50-45 AM

 

 

Don’t get nervous, no… my goal weight is not 250 pounds, but I know I have to break it up into phases and find some goals that are achievable otherwise the task of losing 100 pounds will seem so daunting, I’m afraid I’ll talk myself out of it.

So… wish me good luck… and off I go, into yet another bit of a battle with….. myself.

 

4 thoughts on “The Beginning…

  1. This time there’ll be no daily lessons, lectures, cliche’s,cheerleading or hip hip hooray’s for every pound you lose from me. I have found that blitz attacks don’t really work for me in the long run. Focusing on an arbitrary goal “number” kept me from paying attention to the bad habits I had slipped back into. I have successfully lost weight many times before, but my demons have never gone away…… I’m still struggling with exorcising them or at the very least, coping successfully. It’s taken me a year to lose 25 pounds and you know what? It was easy… Because I wasn’t even thinking about losing weight. I got busy focusing on me… Clearing hurdles and finding my way around roadblocks….. Whoops! I promised no lectures. My bad.

  2. Keep up the good work and remember that nothing worth doing happens overnight 🙂 I’m part of a group on FB (a 21 day clean eating and exercise challenge group) where everyone makes posts each evening about that day. It’s really helpful! I also really like the “my fitness pal” app too (all one word). It helps you track how much you’re eating (very helpful since I’m inclined to overheat!)

    Sky (Jenna’s friend)

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